R U OK Day

Thursday marked R U OK? Day.  The focus this year was what happens after we ask R U OK?  If we ask and someone is not, do we have the skills to help or the preparedness of what to do if someone answers “No”.

There are a large number of resources available that help support people asking the question and those who need support https://www.ruok.org.au/ is an outstanding resource that provides support and guidance for those asking the question.

Below are some helpful tips.

1. Asking

Before you can look out for others ask yourself:

AM I READY?

Am I in a good headspace? 

Am I willing to genuinely listen? 

Can I give as much time as needed?

AM I PREPARED?

Do I understand that if I ask how someone’s going, the answer could be: “No, I’m not”?

Do I understand that you can’t ‘fix’ someone’s problems?

Do I accept that they might not be ready to talk? Or they might not want to talk to me?  

PICKED MY MOMENT?

Have I chosen somewhere relatively private and comfy? 

Have I figured out a time that will be good for them to chat? 

Have I made sure I have enough time to chat properly?

2. Listening

Take what they say seriously and don't interrupt or rush the conversation.

• Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them.
• If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence.
• Encourage them to explain: "How are you feeling about that?" or "How
• Show that you've listened by repeating back what you’ve heard (in your own words) and ask if you have understood them properly.

3. Encourage Action

• Ask: “What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?”
• Ask: “How would you like me to support you?"
• Ask: “What’s something you can do for yourself right now? Something that’s enjoyable or relaxing?”
• You could say: "When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this... You might find it useful too."
• If they've been feeling really down for more than 2 weeks, encourage them to see a health professional. You could say, "It might be useful to link in with someone who can support you. I'm happy to assist you to find the right person to talk to.”
• Be positive about the role of professionals in getting through tough times. 

If they need expert help

Some conversations are too big for family and friends to take on alone. If someone’s been really low for more than 2 weeks - or is at risk - please contact a professional as soon as you can.

4. Check In

• Pop a reminder in your diary to call them in a couple of weeks. If they're really struggling, follow up with them sooner.
• You could say: "I've been thinking of you and wanted to know how you've been going since we last chatted."
• Ask if they've found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven't done anything, don't judge them. They might just need someone to listen to them for the moment.
• Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a real difference. 

Source - https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Remember that the College is here to help support, guide and offer advice for those who need support.  If you are worried about a student’s mental health and are not sure what to do please do not hesitate to get in contact with the Pastoral Team so we may offer guidance and assistance.

Nathan Mansfield

Assistant Principal - Pastoral Care