Children and the Art of Happiness

I am responding to a few suggestions from parents/carers about topics for articles about adolescent health given recent events. I am happy to do so. Here is an article I wrote some time ago about this most important of human conditions- happiness in challenging times.

In 2001, The Sydney Morning Herald presented a series of written reflections on social issues. One article by Dorothy Rowe was particularly interesting. She made these observations:

*the idea that children have a right to be happy is a notion that has only been accepted relatively recently. It was Charles Dickens, in fact, who challenged the prevailing view that childhood (for the poor at least) had to be endured. She argued in her book that:

* Happiness is not something that can be acquired like a new car or clothes. Hence, when people are described as “sad” it is to suggest that they always have a choice. They do not always!

* Happiness is too easily equated with owning things. As we too often see, millionaires may be miserable also. The most desired relationship between a child and parent is not concerned with buying things but with shared, quality time.

* As Peter Allen wrote in his song:

“Don’t wish too hard for what you want ‘cause you might get it, then when you get it, you might find you never want it at all”. Nevertheless, this is nothing new. Two thousand years ago, Jesus told his small band of followers to store up treasures that are not perishable.

* Happiness exists only in the present, of putting aside worries about the past or future and concentrating on what is happening now:

“then we are able to savour…thrill to the feeling of wind in the face or salt water around our body, be intrigued or amazed by events in the world, be enraptured or comforted by the closeness of another or burst into laughter with the joy of companionship or living. Being able to do this, people can indeed be happy.”(Rowe)

There may be a few lessons to be drawn from her work. We must instil or at least foster a sense of wonder in our children.

The “Gee whizz”of my own childhood may be in danger of being replaced by the “So what?” in this generation. Furthermore, we as adults must encourage optimism.  A sense of optimism is an awareness “that despite nastiness, tragedy and stupidity in the world, there is something else” Pessimism is a resignation to a notion that things cannot change. This is to deny the rich and subtle variety of our day-to -day lives. Bouncing back after disappointment like fire, flood and pandemics is something that is taught and caught! We need to model resilience and confidence to children in this difficult time.

Adolescence can be turbulent and fraught and sometimes we have a tendency to accentuate the terrible things happening in the world. Much modern literature, film and music gravitates towards gloomy and sullen ideology. That is not to say we should shy away from sadness but to develop armour in the home and classroom to enable children to deal with life’s problems.

Children need to see that there is good in the world and that family, loyal friendship, laughter and community are the real currency of life. The C-19 virus will pass, nature is already coming back strongly in the Eurobodalla and our community is strong.

Reference: ”Wanting Everything: The Art of Happiness” by Dorothy Rowe (2001)

Mr. Paul Cullen

paul.cullen@cg.catholic.edu.au